This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The power of my boobs compel you
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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