I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
