I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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