I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
