Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
