also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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