Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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