At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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