I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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