Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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