You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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