How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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