I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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