oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
