every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
