Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
