i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
