I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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