I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
