we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
