You really coming over, don't trick.
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
