Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
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