i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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