I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
