you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
whose ass print is on the piano?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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