did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
