I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
