eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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