why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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