I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
