Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
