All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
