so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
