glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
