I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We left an ass print on the piano.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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