I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
