Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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