Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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