I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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