they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
