Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
