dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
