Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
