We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
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She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It's blow job season.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
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WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize