im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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