if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so that wasnt chicken after all
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
