He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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