have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I AM VODKA MAN
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
