Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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