Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
