So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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