my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
