My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
