..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
