so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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